Black Sheep Bass-ic Training

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Sheep dip

on March 21, 2015

Shaking head, laughing.

Been a trippy few weeks.

Went to the Land of Cheese a couple weekends back to assist with house cleanout for my ailing father.  Threw out my back first day there and remembered what excruciating pain is.  But pressed through and got stuff done up there anyway.  Also got a chance to meet his longtime friend and have extended fellowship.  Dad has good taste in friends.  Was fun watching those two converse about their upcoming trip in July, one they’ve both wanted to take for years.  They were like two excited kids.

Work is its usual daily spiritual test that I typically flunk before first break.  I despair of ever improving my conduct there.  But God decided to bless me ANYWAY, and use THEM to do it.  We’re a corporate sponsor for the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and the company gives away tickets occasionally.  I managed to win a set and bless some good friends with a wonderful concert.  That was worth about several months’ worth of stress and hassle.  🙂

Spiritual progress or growth?  I wonder if I’m making any.

I do know that the back incident was a very painful check on my pride (hey, genius, you’re not a teenager anymore).

I do know that I’m trying to figure out how to be more disciplined with…well, everything…I have shown in the past that I am capable of regular Bible study/practice time/exercise time/household chore schedule/diet…but I’m slipping further and further into doing whatever, whenever.   I don’t want to use my job as an excuse–I do have a very deep-rooted lazy streak–but I do have a very hard time mustering up motivation outside my work hours, anymore.  My get-up-and-go got up and went.  I need to go find it.

I do know that reading ‘The Knowledge of the Holy’ by A.W. Tozer is helping me get through this dry time.  (It’s one thing I HAVE been disciplined about; I read a bit of it each night before bed.)  Chapter 10, “The Divine Omniscience”, is particularly sticking with me.  God knows ev-er-y-thing.  EVERYTHING.  So He knows what’s going on at my place of employment.  And He is allowing the things that frustrate me to happen.  Most things that frustrate me there, frustrate me because they prevent me from getting work done.  A thought dawned on me.  Maybe He doesn’t WANT the work getting done.  Because if He did, He would remove the constant roadblocks or not allow them to occur.  He knows more than I’ll ever know about the eventual consequences of the work I do…and maybe those consequences aren’t good.  Or maybe He wants our fatal production flaws truly exposed…my frantic work pace has covered up a lot for a long time.  Or maybe something entirely different.  Obviously, by having my work goals blocked, it is a test of my patience and is helping me develop that…but I have to believe it’s more than that.  Because I’m not the only one unable to keep up with production in my department.  We ALL run into multiple roadblocks every day.  So I’m really thinking He doesn’t want this stuff done, for whatever His reasons are.  And that thought has been rather comforting to me.  I give my best effort, and if it’s thwarted?  Oh well.  Point out issues…if they get corrected, great; if not, I did my due diligence.

He knows everything that’s going on and His will shall be done in the end.

He knows, so I don’t need to know.  I am getting more comfortable with not knowing everything that’s going on…I can let it go more often when I don’t get answers to questions.  Heh.  Progress.  That’s a good thang.

Sheep dip purges the animal of pests lingering in their coat.  Trials of life purge us of our spiritual “pests”.  Been getting plenty of “dip”, but I’m better off for it.

God is good.  His love is unfailing.  I am knowing those things on a deeper level, I think…I don’t get the fuzzy-wuzzy feelings much, but I can say those things with a confidence that I can’t even explain.  I look forward to the day when my life reflects that faith better and others are blessed with God’s love through whatever I’ve done in a given day.

Jesus, this world desperately needs You.  Help me to show You to others I meet more often and more consistently.  That’s the job I should be giving most of my energy to!



One response to “Sheep dip

  1. Steve says:

    It sounds like you could use a reading from the Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. We are in the shape that you mention, scruffy, beaten up, and defeated. It is when we stop pretending that we are anything else that we can begin to really experience the love of the Father.

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